Five Stages
by rebelsaurus29
Summary: AU: An unexpected loss leads Draco and Hermione through the five stages of grief.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling**

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><p>"I am so sorry," the Healer says to the young couple sitting in front of him. "There was nothing any of us could have done to prevent this. There is only so much magic can do," he tries to explain. "Sometimes these things just happen."<p>

The young couple does not respond. They continue to just sit there, ignorant to what the Healer is saying.

Looking around on his desk he withdraws a business card, "Here's the contact information for my colleague, the one I told you about." He tries to hand the card to them, but is unsuccessful. Sighing, he places it in the woman's purse.

He looks at the young couple before him, noticing the vacant look in their eyes. His heart aches for them as if they were his own children. "Please contact her. It is going to be a very difficult time for the two of you and you are going to need all the support you can get."

Looking at the time, the Healer says, "I have an appointment with another patient. Stay here as long as you need to. If you need anything, Nurse Ophelia is just outside." With one last look at the couple, he departs from the room.

The young couple remains on the couch for another hour, not saying anything, holding hands as the Healer's words finally sink in: Draco and Hermione Malfoy were no longer parents-to-be.


	2. Denial

After an hour, Draco and Hermione are still in the Healer's office, sitting as still as statues. Draco suddenly speaks, "We should get a second opinion." He turns to look at his wife. "Hermione, did you hear me?"

"What?"

"I said we should get a second opinion." Draco stands up and starts to pace in front of his wife.

"Draco, I don't think—," Hermione begins.

"No. We need a second opinion. There has to be another explanation. I mean, did you hear him?" Stopping his pacing, Draco states in his best imitation, _"There is only so much magic can do."_ Draco pauses before continuing in his normal voice. "What does that even mean? We need to find another Healer, someone who knows what he is doing."

Beginning his pacing again, Draco is oblivious to Hermione as her eyes lose their vacancy and begin to tear up.

"How difficult can it be to find out what is wrong?"

"Draco, stop," Hermione pleads.

"This is ridiculous. With the amount of money I have given to this hospital—"

"DRACO!" Hermione yells.

"What?"

"This is not helping."

Draco looks towards her and replies, "You're right. We can't rely on these people. We're going to go home and we are going to do research and we are going to find out what is really happening. We have plenty of medical books in the library and with your smarts we will be able to find out what is really wrong."

Draco walks to Hermione and pulls her up off of the couch. Before she can even gain her balance, he grabs her arm and apparates them to the vast library in their home. Without missing a beat, Draco lets go of Hermione and walks over to the far end of the library. She stands there watching her husband as he searches vigorously through the bookshelves for any book that could help.

"Here, start with this book. I'll look through this one," he says as he hands a large tome to Hermione. Draco begins flipping through the pages of the book in his hands as Hermione continues to stand there, staring at him.

Not hearing the pages of her book being rifled through, Draco looks up briefly at Hermione before going back to the book in his hand. "Hermione, why aren't you researching? The answer has to be in one of these books."

"Draco," she says softly, trying to hold in the overwhelming sadness. "Stop."

"What? No. We have to keep researching. I don't want you to get sicker from something that can be easily healed."

"Draco, I'm not sick. I had a mis—a miscarriage," Hermione says as tears begin to fall down her face. "Our baby is gone, Draco."

Draco pauses in his research, but keeps his head bowed. "No. You're wrong," he says bitingly.

"Draco, please look at me," Hermione pleads as she walks towards him. She slowly reaches her hands out to him and locks onto his arms. "Please, Draco. I need you to hear what I am saying. Our baby is dead."

"No," he says adamantly as he pulls away from his wife.

"Yes," she replies just as stubbornly, once again holding onto him and forcing him to look at her.

"No." Draco tries to release himself from her grasp, but reality is beginning to crash down on him.

"Sweetheart," Hermione says softly.

"NO!" he yells. Draco starts thrashing in Hermione's arms repeating, "Nononononono." Sobbing, he collapses into Hermione's embrace and the two sink down onto the floor. Rocking back and forth, sobbing, Draco whispers, "Our baby. Hermione, our baby."


	3. Anger

Sitting in his home office, under the guise of getting work done, Draco once again finds himself staring off into the fireplace, entranced by the shifting flames. A crash, accompanied by a scream, echoes from down the hall and shakes him out of his stupor. Racing towards the disturbance, he hears more yells coming from the kitchen.

Entering the room he sees Hermione stalking back and forth as she continues her yelling, "How dare she say that! She doesn't know a thing about what I am going through. The audacity of that woman."

Stepping towards her Draco asks, "Hermione? What happened?"

Not acknowledging Draco's entrance or questions Hermione continues muttering to herself, "Oh, yes. '_It'll all get better. Don't you worry your pretty little head, Hermione.'_ Bloody twit."

Grabbing her arms to cease her movement, Draco draws Hermione's attention to the fact that she now has an audience. "Hermione, who are you talking about?" he asks more forcefully.

"That pain in the arse She-Weasel," she sharply replies.

Looking confused and taken aback Draco questions, "Ginny? Why are you cursing up a storm about Ginny?"

"She wanted to talk so I figured why not. But no, she didn't _really_ want to talk. She wanted to show off her swollen ankles and her achy back," Hermione rambles.

"I'm not following, love."

"I thought she wanted to talk like we did when we were kids, but she just wanted to rub her new pregnancy in my face."

"I don't think that's what she intended," he replies slowly.

"Are you taking her side?" Hermione asks heatedly.

"What? No, of course not," he replies hastily.

Eyeing him suspiciously Hermione begins pacing once again, "Maybe you're thinking you picked the wrong Gryffindor. I mean, she gave Harry a male heir right after they got married. And then she had another boy. I bet this third one is going to be a boy, too."

"I know you're upset, but you shouldn't be angry with Ginny. She's one of your best friends. She didn't make this happen," Draco says, speaking carefully and slowly.

Hermione stops her pacing, turns slowly to face Draco, and says, "You're right. It isn't her fault. It's your bloody family's fault."

Looking at her incredulously he asks, "My family's fault? What are you on about?"

"If they didn't put so much pressure on me to give the Malfoy name a male heir, none of this would have happened."

"Excuse me?" he asks, willing himself not to lose his head.

"You heard me. '_Oh, Hermione we can't wait for a little one to be running around soon. Oh Hermione, make sure you take this potion to ensure a strong boy.' _Every other word out of your parents' mouths was about having a boy. Do you know how stressful that is?"

Eyes flashing in anger at what his wife has just said he states in a deathly calm voice, "Do not blame my parents for what happened."

With a huff Hermione says, "You're going to defend them? How about your Aunt Bellatrix? Are you going to defend her, too? She tortured me for hours. Maybe that damaged me so much that now I can't have a baby. Your whole bloody family has been out for me since day one."

Draco's anger starts to break through his calm exterior as his voice increasingly gets angrier and louder, "So it's my fault, too? Is that what you're saying? Because I think it's **_your_** fault. Maybe if you had taken off from work like I asked you, this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if you hadn't read up on every single thing to do with pregnancy, this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if you had just **_bloody relaxed _**for once in your life, this wouldn't have happened."

Draco's entire body shakes as he finishes his tirade. He stares at Hermione, her eyes wide displaying a mixture of anger, surprise, and sadness.

Walking up to Draco slowly she says punctuating each word, "I. Hate. You."

Staring right back at her he retorts, "Yeah, well I hate you, too."


	4. Bargaining

Opening the refrigerator to find a snack, Draco pauses to stare in confusion at the food on the shelves. Turning to Hermione he asks, "What is with the food in the refrigerator?"

"What do you mean?" she says as she continues reading the Daily Prophet at the table.

Draco closes the refrigerator and walks over to his wife. "Where is all of our regular food? I just went to the market the other day and none of that food is in there anymore."

"Oh, I threw it in the waste."

"You what!?" Draco exclaims.

Finally looking up from the paper and into his eyes she says, "We need to start eating healthier."

"We eat plenty healthy. Why do we need to completely change our eating habits?"

"It'll be easier if we increase our healthy food intake," Hermione replies. Getting up from the table, she walks over to the counter to pick up a color coded sheet of parchment. "I also signed us up for the gym up the road." Seeing the question forming on Draco's tongue she continues saying, "We need to be more active and get out more. Look, I made a schedule of our workout routine."

Taking the parchment out of her hand, Draco's eyes widen as he reads down the schedule Hermione created. "When do you expect us to relax? We're doing something nearly 24/7."

Straightening her spine in defense she replies, "Being healthy is a 24/7 job."

"Hermione, this is barmy."

"No it's not. This is a great plan. If we do this, then it'll be better in the long run for us," she says.

Quirking an eyebrow Draco asks, "In the long run?" Noticing Hermione avoiding his eyes, Draco cottons on to her meaning. "Oh, love, no."

"What?"

Grabbing her hands and trying to get her to look into his eyes he says, "The way we ate or didn't was not the reason this happened."

"I know," she says still avoiding his eyes.

Holding onto her chin and forcing her to look at him he whispers, "Do you?"

Releasing herself from his grasp and turning her back on him she replies, "Yes, of course I do. But it can't hurt to eat better and lead a healthier lifestyle, right?"

With defeat lightly lacing his voice he says, "Right." Not wanting to completely give in to his wife he suggests, "Maybe we can cut back on some of this workout, yeah?" a hopeful look in his eyes.

With her back still to her husband Hermione says, "You can, but I'm not going to. If I do this then everything will work out better next time." As she begins to walk away she whispers to herself, "It has to."

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><p><strong>AN: I really struggled with this chapter so I apologize if it is not up to my usual standard :-/**


	5. Depression

_Hermione,_

_This is the __**twelfth**__ letter I've owled you. I haven't heard from you or Draco in days—eight to be specific—and I am starting to worry. Narcissa and Lucius told me that all the letters they've sent you have been returned. Unopened. Gin and I tried to floo over, but it was blocked. I know you're in pain right now, but please, I need to know that you are all right. I'm here whenever you are ready. I love you._

_Harry_

Hermione sits in the sitting room, pajamas wrinkled and hair a mess. She stares at the letter, not fully seeing it. She places it on top of the other letters from Harry that all carry the same basic message. She cringes when she thinks of Ginny and her swollen belly. Tears start welling up in her eyes as she recalls the tiny clothing Ginny was washing the last time Hermione visited. Suddenly, a loud noise from outside interrupts Hermione's musings. Recognizing it as laughter, Hermione walks over to the window and peers out between the blinds. A family walks by: a mother, a father, a toddler skipping down the sidewalk, a baby in a pram. Backing away quickly, Hermione scrambles back onto the couch. She casts a silencing charm on the room as tears pour down her face. Sobs wrack her body as she curls up into a ball, desperately trying to hide from the world.

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><p><em>Son,<em>

_We are concerned about you and Hermione. We want to be there for the two of you, but you need to let us in. You cannot continue hiding within your home. It is time to enter back into the world and face this head on. If we do not hear from you soon we will be knocking down your front door. Do not underestimate your mother and myself. _

_Father_

Draco sits on the bed in the guest room, hair sticking up in all directions and sheets hanging off the bed haphazardly. It is easier staying in a different room, a room far away from _that_ room. Looking once again at the letter from his father, all Draco can see is his father calling him a failure. Draco starts to shake as he hears his father's voice in his head say, '_This isn't how adults act. This isn't how __**fathers**__ act. You're __**never**__ going to be a father. You __**don't**__**deserve**__ to have children after everything you've done in the past. __**YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH**__.' _The voice gets louder and louder until Draco realizes it's his own voice ringing out in the bedroom. Sobbing, Draco pulls his knees to his chest and desperately tries to hide from the world.


	6. Acceptance

Draco finishes tying his shoes and stands up. He walks towards the bathroom and knocks on the door. "Hermione? Are you almost ready?"

The door opens and Hermione steps out. "Zip me up, please?" She turns so her back is facing her husband. Draco slowly zips up the back of Hermione's dress, placing his hands softly on her shoulders. He leans over and places a soft kiss on the side of her neck. Smiling faintly, Hermione moves to the closet door and pulls down Draco's suit jacket. Walking over to her husband, she hands him the blazer.

Standing in front of the mirror, Draco pulls on the jacket and straightens out his tie. Hermione comes up behind him and wraps her arms around his chest, squeezing tightly before releasing her hold. Draco turns to face her and looks into her eyes, "We should probably head out." Sighing heavily, Hermione nods and grasps her husband's hand.

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><p>A willow tree sits in the middle of a gated area off the beaten path. With a quiet <em>pop, <em>Hermione and Draco apparate just outside the gate. Squeezing each other's hands, Hermione and Draco quietly open the gate and walk towards the peaceful tree in the center. A gentle wind blows causing the tendrils to sway softly. Draco and Hermione stop in front of the tree and look down at the plaque sitting in the grass.

Tears falling down their faces, the couple kneels down and places their hands on the stone. Sniffling, Hermione whispers, "I love you, baby" before standing back up. Stroking the stone once more, Draco joins his wife and wraps a comforting arm around her shoulders.

They stand for another minute before Hermione says, "It's time." Nodding, Draco once again takes her hand in his.

As they disapparate, a newly bloomed flower gently falls onto the stone and rests next to the inscription that adorns it:

_Baby Malfoy_

_You were our dream._

_And in our dreams we will see you._

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><p>They walk into the office hand-in-hand and after checking-in, Hermione and Draco sit down in the waiting room. After several moments of silence they hear their name called, "Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy? Dr. Smethwick is ready for you." The young couple stands up and walks towards the door that reads <em>Dr. Smethwick: Grief Counselor. <em>Taking a deep breath, Hermione and Draco open the door to the next chapter in their lives.

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><p><strong>AN: I want to thank all of you who have read, followed, or favorited this story. And a special thank you goes out to BouncyCastle08 and Vaneesa85 for reviewing and giving me some much needed moral support. I am thinking about doing a sequel (most likely a one-shot, possibly a multi-chapter), but I'm not sure when that would be completed. Thank you again for giving my story a chance :-) **


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